Anyone who has thought about having couple counselling or indeed beginning any form of Talk Therapy / Counselling / Coaching etc – can be very overwhelming. Couple counselling can be even more daunting for come people; especially if one partner is being stubborn and refusing to co-operate and attend the therapy or even be supportive of the mere idea of therapy.
It is essential therefore that you sow the idea of couple counselling to the partner who is opposing therapy so that it is not sprung on them out of the blue – as that is sure as hell to make them dig their heels in more! But, even if your partner is not willing to co-operate, perhaps you could start the process of yourself.
So instead of waiting for the other person who doesn’t want to go to couple counselling to change, you could embark on your own therapeutic journey to help strengthen your own self-improvement and personal growth. The hesitant partner may become enthralled by these positive changes and decide to partake in therapy after all – well that’s the hope anyway!
What are the benefits of couple counselling?
But why do couples engage in therapy? Couples come to Counselling for a whole number of reasons, but in my experience, in addition to infidelity, the greatest issue comes down to lack of communication. Often times it is also because of a major life change — for instance a child’s serious illness, or disability or for parenting issues particularly if your child is on the ADHD or Autism Spectrum.
Couple counselling is also hugely beneficial if one of you is coping with a mental health issue (such as depression or anxiety) and the other partner is not sure how to deal with this hugely complex issue. Or it could simply be if one of you is feeling stuck and stagnant in the relationship.
So once, you both get over the hump of entering couple counselling, the rewards are often immense — including saving the relationship from a potentially expensive / messy breakup. In many cases, couples get an immediate short-term boost. This is normally down to the sense of relief that something is actually and finally being done.
What does couple counselling involve?
For couple entering counselling, the therapy room can provide a safe space for both parties to talk about sensitive topics such as sex, infidelity, shame, guilt, hurt, mental health etc. Remember, most time when couples are arguing, they talk/shout at each other not to each rarely does each of them hear what the other one is saying.
So within the Therapy setting, couples may for the first time be able to speak to each other in a calm, constructive manner whilst being heard and listened but at the same being able to respond appropriately.
Finding the right couple counsellor
It is important that you find a Secular Counsellor which means that that Counsellor is there to help couples reach the best outcome for their specific issues and problems and that that person does not side with one person over another – but rather is unbiased and non-judgemental.
It’s important that they facilitate clients to talk openly about their feelings with one another; by opening up, being honest and truthful so that they are able to explore issues that they may not have wanted to before because they are perhaps too painful, long lasting or too raw. It is only by exploring these issues that a solution can be explored and decided upon.
So couple counselling is hugely beneficial but it is important that you both plan exactly what you want to achieve by coming to therapy so that you both get the most out of the journey.